Saturday, November 7, 2015

Some Life Lessons

I want to share some of my journey today. I was born into The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, baptized at 8, and as far as anyone knew, lived with a righteous family. I was given the basic tools at church to find my own way and rise above the dysfunction and abuse no one knew about, but I hadn’t really learned how to use those tools and usually felt what I heard each Sunday was useless the moment I left church. We didn’t live the gospel at home other than prayers at meal times. I had started to learn more when I attended Rick’s College (now BYU-I) for a semester, but I got caught up in the fun of having freedom from my dysfunctional family, getting engaged/married and I wasn’t really paying attention to what I was being given/taught. I did the minimum of what was asked of me and no more.

For years I have been sitting on the fence between right and wrong, God & Satan. I have been watching both sides of choice and been too scared to choose one way over the other. I was in a state of confusion and extreme anxiety and depression that was keeping me on that fence, hovering in the grey areas of life, unable to commit. My heart wanted to be closer to God, but my mind was in control and listening to so many differing thoughts and ideas. As a matter of survival, I shut down, became numb to life.

I didn’t use to be stuck in doubt, depression and anxiety though it was a part of my daily life. I went to church every week, attended all my meetings and considered myself active in my faith. I loved the Lord and prayed often, keeping a prayer in my heart all the time. I knew that with hope and the Lord I could get through anything. We prayed as a family, made family dinner time a priority, attended church, fulfilled our callings and other good things, but we weren’t working on progressing on our path and building our gospel foundations through regular scripture study or Family Home Evening.
Nephi explains it well in 2 Nephi 28:21, And others will he pacify, and lull them away into carnal security, that they will say: All is well in Zion; yea, Zion prospereth, all is well—and thus the devil cheateth their souls, and leadeth them away carefully down to hell.

Without an ever-growing foundation of gospel principles in my life, I was easily led away, little by little without even realizing it. After some traumatic events, my anxiety and depression just continued worsen, even with medication on my side, and I didn’t feel I had any right to ask God for anything. In 2 Nephi 32:8 it says, “…for the evil spirit teacheth not a man to pray, but teacheth him that he must not pray.” Satan knew how to get to me. I battled to live any kind of life, day to day, hour to hour. I was missing out on my life and my family’s lives. I was truly absent even though I was always around. Checking out of life was the only way I could handle being alive and thoughts of suicide were never far from my mind.

Over the past two years I have been slowly working on coming back to living, but my biggest change was earlier this year when I decided to start the BYU-I Pathway program and once again take charge of all areas of my life. I knew I would have a religion class each semester but I never thought it would start to change me so much, in so little time.

I have been learning how to truly study the scriptures each day and through that daily practice, my soul has been touched by God. My eyes are opening to what I needed to always be doing. Nephi speaks very plainly to us about the ways of God and Satan. I am learning how I was led away and how I can get back where I need to be. Now, I am excited each day to see what He has to share with me through the scriptures. I don’t want to be part of those that Nephi describes in 2 Nephi 31:14, But, behold, my beloved brethren, thus came the voice of the Son unto me, saying: After ye have repented of your sins, and witnessed unto the Father that ye are willing to keep my commandments, by the baptism of water, and have received the baptism of fire and of the Holy Ghost, and can speak with a new tongue, yea, even with the tongue of angels, and after this should deny me, it would have been better for you that ye had not known me. We will be judged at the last day according to what we have been given in this life (3 Nephi 33:15) and I want to do my Father in Heaven proud.

Two of my new favorite scriptures follow.

2 Nephi 28:32, “Wo be unto the Gentiles, saith the Lord God of Hosts! For notwithstanding I shall lengthen out mine arm unto them from day to day, they will deny me; nevertheless, I will be merciful unto them, saith the Lord God, if they will repent and come unto me; for mine arm is lengthened out all the day long, saith the Lord God of Hosts.

2 Nephi 31:20, “Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

These scriptures bring me hope that I can start now, be forgiven, and move forward. My journey today is wading through the grey areas, leaving doubt behind one choice at a time. I have a long journey ahead, but I know that if I persist and shake off Satan’s influences, I can have eternal life. I am praying again, and I pray I can influence my family to join me on this journey. Some of my children are lost in the grey areas of life. I’m sure they were just following me because they didn’t want to be far from me, but it is my prayer I can help them find their way back with me.


If you have read this far, I hope something I have said inspires you to look at your life and see where you might need to work a little harder to keep from being led away from God little by little. Life is hard work, but I have no doubt that with Heavenly guidance, we can enjoy eternal life with those we love.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

It is just about over...

Working full time has really kept me from doing a lot of the things I really wanted to do. I am clearly NOT the multitask-er I thought I could be. I bet no one thought I would ever post on my blogs again....I wasn't sure I ever would, there were always other more pressing matters.

Well now my job is coming to an end. With the continuing slump in the economy and the newly raised rent, the owners can no longer afford where we are located and can't guarantee they can re-open elsewhere. I never thought it would happen, but not long after I found all this out (can you say stressed out!), my hubby got back on with the company that laid him off 3+ years ago...full time! So financially, we will be fine. In fact I have been blessed with the chance to cut back my hours tremendously to be home once again with my youngest...I have missed her so much.

I will miss our wonderful customers, many who are now good friends, and my awesome co-workers. We have shared good times and bad and will hopefully continue to bless each others lives for years to come. I hope to find a new "schedule" that includes regular blogging and creating (that will be shared on my creative blog www.jenalihdesigns.blogspot.com). I'm so excited to see what the summer brings, especially getting to spend time with my kids again!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

Clearly working takes it's toll...

I find it really hard to find time to do the things I want to do. This blog is a classic example. I miss my friends, I miss creating for myself or those I love, I miss my 3year old and all her milestones....I feel like I'm missing out on too much. I thought I had come to terms with having to work. But I'm finding it comes back in waves for me to deal with over and over again. My mind is always in work mode these days and I'm so exhausted from it.

I decided I need to go back to school, I'm technically not qualified for anything but retail, and I'm not as happy as I should be in a job. Atleast being happy in a job seems like a reasonable goal. I know my husband loved his job before the economy killed it. I really miss those days. We were still broke, but in a more secure way, knowing what we could handle or change. Working for me was more of an option to give us the extra to enjoy life, and I always worked at something. But it was my choice of when and where and who.

I am grateful I have a job, don't get me wrong...some income is better than none. I'm just worn out. I'm not used to the stress of being the sole provider and bill payer. I give my all to my work to be the best employee possible, to give the customers the best possible experience.

I'm tired.

Thursday, February 25, 2010

My third ATC


I filled in for someone who bummed out of a swap and this is what I created. I didn't have a large scallop punch so the scallop is made with 14 or so small pink eggs glued to the back of the circle. It was a lot of work but totally worth it! I LOVE how it all came together. I have to thank my good friend, you know who you are, who let me stamp off a bunch of this stamp (one day long ago)... she was perfect for this project. By the way friend, I'm going to need more of her. ;)

Monday, February 22, 2010

Never too old?

CAUTION: May be boring, but I couldn't resist marking this ordinary event. She is my last and I have to treasure it while I can.



As far as dear A is concerned, she will never be too old to take baths in the sink. She barely fit in the sink and yes the other side was full of dirty dishes. We had bathed the guinea pig and the rabbit and A decided she had to have one too! I did my best to keep these photos clean. I just couldn't resist taking them... I have a decent size kitchen sink, but she is 2 and barely had room for even a little water in there. After being forced out, I sneakily removed the plug so it would drain, all she wanted the rest of the night was to get back in. It is moments like these, those ordinary wonderful moments, that I hope to remember.

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Better late than never...


These are some I designed for a friend. I had a great deal of fun doing them and would love to design things like this for a living some day.

Below is the digital postcard I designed to give out to friends and family for the 2009 holiday season. I printed as many as I could afford, to send with a holiday card by snail mail, and if you didn't get one, I'm so sorry...but I'm broke. Please enjoy it here instead. ;)




My very first ATC card!


I know the picture is kind of dark, but you get the gist. For my very first attempt, I think I did pretty well. I could never do what Tim Holtz does, but for my next ATC card I plan to try some of his techniques. Please let me know what you think.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

New Year, New Opportunities

This is the year of taking advantage of opportunities that come our way to make our lives better. Where is this leading?

Mark is going to try to have his own company, and hopefully make money at it. He passed all his tests and should have his license to practice as an Architect around the middle of February.

Our teenagers will be going on a week long pioneer trek in August and need to train/conditon themselves for it. Therefore I will start the "couch potato to 5k" training program with them so we can all do a 5k in May and then continue to increase our distance and time up to their trek. They will need plenty of strength and stamina to get through 10 to 15 miles a day during that trek and we all need to get in better shape. Yes, round is a shape and I'm very round...but I have decided that it is time to try out a new shape. I'm hoping that after the trek we will continue to work together and find other things to train for. It is time for this family to get active and be healthier.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Waaaaay behind on everything these days.

I got a part time job and now barely have time to keep up with anything. I haven't worked in a few years and forgot how exhausting it can be. Hubby is still unemployed, except when it snows ...then he shovels for a friend's company. I can not make myself pray for snow, I do not like enough,though.... hmmm, he does make more than me when he shovels. OK, I'm praying for tons of snow so I can quit my job and go back to just being a mom. ;) I do feel like I am missing a lot, though I'm not working a ton. I'm just far more exhausted when I am home and miss things even when I'm here. I hate that I can't get back on top of the day to day stuff so I can get more things organized around here. frustrating...

I am thankful for the work we do have and the little bit of money it brings in. I am also thankful that we have managed to keep up on our utilities, house and such so far. I am thankful my oldest son was able to visit us for the holiday break, it has been the best visit yet. Most of all, I am thankful that my husband finally passed all his tests and can get his license next year. That should help us in the employment area.

Monday, November 2, 2009

My newest cards

Here are some cards I made recently for some card swaps. Thought you might like to see.





Tuesday, October 20, 2009

October 20, 2009

37 years ago, I was born.

In thinking about my life so far, I realized I have done most things I set out to do. My life took a slightly different path than I imagined in high school, but heck what do you really know as a teenager. Life has been hard, but it has also had some great rewards. I'm thankful for my wonderful husband, who I love even more now than when I married him. I'm thankful for my children, though they may drive me crazy...they really are wonderful human beings. I'm also very thankful to all my friends and family past and present...each of you has brought something I have needed in my life and my life is so much richer because of you.

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

She's a little bit.....(and more)


Big girl.....


and a little bit baby. Everytime I turn around, she's a little bit older, wiser, smarter. She cracks us up with the things she says, or picks up on and how much she truly understands. *Sigh* Where has the time gone?

For all the fun we having been having with our dear A...it has been a stressful time around here. We are still unemployed and the unemployment extension is drawing to an end. I felt so sure that something was going to come through for us by the end of the summer. It is getting harder and harder to have hope, to believe that we will have what we need to survive. Enough depressing stuff, well almost...

We got a guinea pig a little while back. My son had saved up some money and got a great deal on Craigslist. This was Bandit, yes was...she only lived about a week. We really loved her, she was very sweet.


Just a few days later, with some help from a wonderful aunt, we found another fabulous pig. This is Cocoa. He is very funny and vocal. He likes to talk to us, especially to me after the kids have gone to bed. It probably helps that I usually give him fresh veggies at night. LOL We hope to have many years with Cocoa.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

A Sentimental journey...well maybe a very short walk.

I'm still in awe of her.....over 18 months since she was born and I'm still in shock that I have her here. The other kids still fight over her, which I thought for sure would have passed by now. She blows us away everday with new words, new antics, showing us a new side of life. She is beautiful, daring, sweet, sassy, inquisitive, happy, full of laughter and love, and I don't know what I would do with out her in my life. A, I love you so much!


Thursday, June 11, 2009

Retreat and more!

I needed that retreat and I'm so grateful I was able to go. I managed to do about 40 scrapbook pages, and 24 cards...along with an awesome 20 minute massage, finding a deal on Little People toys at a tiny second hand store, tons of laughter, fabulous friends and incredible food.

Then we had the last day of school, glad it is over but I'm almost ready for school to start again...these kids are too darn grumpy.

Then my oldest ds came to visit the next weekend and managed to coax my baby dd into trying walking again...now she is all over the place! I knew she was holding out on us! Sorry they are sideways, I couldn't find a program to help me fix it.

video

video

Well, I best be off to fix us some dinner.

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Less than 63 hours to go!

In a little over 62 hours I will be...
...picked up by my friend Bob and adding my necessities
to a van full of other people's necessities.
...traveling to a little town in Idaho know as Hagerman.
...eating junk food and laughing my butt off
with some of the most wonderful women I have ever known.
...getting a wonderful, but too short, massage.
...getting my creative juices flowing.
...laughing so much it hurts.
Then after 48 hours of the best time ever with my friends,
I will be...
...wishing it could last just one more day.
...forcing myself to get back to the real world.
...looking forward to next time, and wishing it weren't so far away.
I LOVE GOING TO RETREATS...
IS IT FRIDAY YET?

Monday, May 25, 2009

Card swapping again...



This is not the best picture of it, but it will have to do ... my scanner refuses to work these days. It is for a Get Well swap and the image is from a free coloring page I got online. My friend Bob came up with the great idea to use free coloring pages as digi stamps and it works great! She made a card with the same image, she has it on her site here. Now I just need to get my second set of swap cards done. I have to color the images and mount them on my cards (all my background stuff is on and ready), then I need to set a bunch of eyelets (challenge tied to the swap). I will get it uploaded asap for all to see.

Here it is...it was a pain and the color looks like crap, but in real life it is quite nice. She was another freebie image I found online, wish I could remember where. Her tiny details nearly did me in and the eyelets didn't like me very much, but in the end she was worth it. Hopefully the gals in the swap will like both of these, I've had fun making them.


As for my household, we are both still unemployed but hanging in there. I'm thrilled but dreading the end of school, only 8 more days of semi peace left. The only good part is that the older kids can help with baby dd all summer.

Best get to my other set of cards......Just one more image to color and glue on the card.....I can do this.....if my hands will hold out just a little longer. *Sigh* Gotta love carpal tunnel syndrome!

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

May 12, 2009

My sister's visit was nice but not nearly long enough for all we wanted to do. I really do wish she lived closer. Hopefully we will be able to keep visiting each other every year or so.



As for me and my house, we are still unemployed and I think I might be getting used to the stress or atleast learning to live with it. LOL The kids have mentioned their worries to us...mainly asking if we are going to lose our house. I keep telling them, that would be a last resort, because that is the main thing we are committed to making sure gets paid every month. I can't promise we will have heat, power or even water...but we will have our home. I can tell they are still worried/stressed, it is showing in their lack of commitment to school but I don't know how to help. I have told them it will be ok, we are doing everything we can to keep things as close to normal for them but yet let them be involved with choosing some of the things we have to change.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

In 16 hours...

give or take...my sister (and her 2 kids) will be here to visit. I am so excited! She is 6 months pregnant with her third child (a girl) and I haven't seen her since August of 2007.

I hope we manage to do everything we have planned...and we have planned as much as possible in the few days she will be here. Sushi lunch, shopping, swimming with all the kids, shopping, playtime with the kids somewhere fun, shopping, scrapbooking, and more shopping (we have better shopping here in Boise than she does in her town).

We are also notorious for staying up until all hours of the night talking, sleep is never much of a priority. We figure we have to make the most of our time together, because we just don't get to be together very often and we know how precious our time together is... (2 of our sisters passed away several years ago).

I am so very excited I just had to share it...now to get back to all my cleaning and visitor prep...so much to do before they get here!

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Tooth Fairy problem

What is a tooth fairy to do if the child swallows his loose tooth while eating waffles for breakfast?

Darling daughter pictures

...15 months old...

2 months...15 months

We have now been unemployed for over 2 months and yesterday my baby turned 15 months old.

It is still amazing to me how quickly things can change. I have been home for all of my baby's small life and I'm floored by how much she has grown. I swear it was just last month that I brought her home from the hospital. She is such a light in our lives and I can not imagine what our home would be like without her in it. She delights me in some way every day. I feel so very lucky to have her.

Hubby has interviewed for a job and taken another of his tests (tests to become licensed). Back to the waiting game...I'm going nuts waiting. We should hopefully hear this next week about the job and who knows about the test results (they love to torture us by taking their sweet time).

I know, I know boooorrring. Well that is my life right now, stress, waiting, and normal life stuff. I'm looking forward to this week though.

My little sis is coming to visit me! I haven't seen her since August 2007 when I was preggy with my baby girl and my son and I went to her house to help out while she had some surgery. Now she is preggy with a baby girl and coming to see me...just for fun! I only wish we didn't have kids to deal with and could get some really good sister time in...well we are going to try to squeeze it in anyway.

Carp! (trying not to swear so much) I just remembered I forgot to take picts of baby girl yesterday/today (I haven't gone to bed yet so it is hard to call it yesterday). Oh well, hopefully I can remember tomorrow.

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Can't sleep.......

Here it is after 2am in the morning and I can not get to sleep, so I figure I haven't blogged in a long while.....lucky all of you! LOL

For some reason just as I was getting comfy, all I could think about was dying and wills and what would happen to my kids if hubby and I just up and died. well after an hour and a half, I couldn't take any more and had to get up. I read my email, checked a friend's blog to see if she had her baby yet (way behind on blog reading...she did and the baby is so cute!) and now you are caught up.

As I get older, death seems to be more of a real thing to me, yet we have never really talked about wills before. We don't have worldly possessions that would count for much, but when I really think about it, there are things I do want spelled out very clearly (concerning my children). I think it is time to see about getting some wills drawn up, for our children's protection.

As for things in our house...we are both still unemployed. Over seven weeks since that fateful day and hubby finally has a job interview this Wednesday. We have mixed feelings over it because we know he won't get offered wages even close to what he was making and their are so many in his field unemployed, that the competition is going to be fierce.

For me, I apply to places all the time and I'm even looking into possibly going back to school. It is frustrating though. What I really want most is to be home and enjoy my last baby while she is still a baby. I just have a hard time with all the guilt...guilt if I don't work and guilt if I do.

As for the kids, this week is Spring Break and we are trying to find fun and cheap things to do. They really wanted to go visit relatives or have their brother come here, but they have to suffer with good 'ol mom and dad this break. We are also dealing with major illness right now. There is this nasty cold/flu thing going around and a couple of us already have it and the others are starting to get it. My poor nose has never been so sore, I cry when I have to wipe my nose...I'm not exaggerating...it is really that bad.

I think I can try to sleep again...maybe another dose of meds will help too. Goodnight all, I hope.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Over 3 weeks and counting...

It has been over 3 weeks since hubby was laid off. We are trying hard to make changes and get things in order so we can make it through another couple of months. So far not a single bite on a job for either of us, but we are pretty sure we can survive 2 more months...beyond that, who knows. We know in our hearts everything will be ok and it is comforting.

I'm certainly getting a glimpse of what retirement could be like...he has totally disrupted my schedule! I just hope I don't get used to a new schedule with him around, otherwise I will totally have to adjust yet again when job(s) come around.

So far we have given up our dog, cancelled our cell phones, prioritized our bills, divided up our tax return into categories of what to pay the next 2 months and hunted long and hard for affordable health insurance. The health ins hunt has been the most nerve-wracking. Cobra is beyond what we can even get from unemployment, and there are lots of scams out there saying they are health ins, when they really aren't. It has been so stressful to find something before our ins runs out, but we have...it isn't nearly as good as what we used to have, but it is better than nothing.

My self confidence is really tired of the stress acne, it just doesn't help me to feel confident...not good when you are trying to find work. My schedule has been way off (dang hubby...and we are busier than ever!) and my weight has creeped right back up. I'm determined to get back to my accountability on SparkPeople as of today...and stay with it. I know it works when I do it. I also need to get back into keeping up with friends...all of you are my link to sanity. I admit I have somewhat been in a hole for a couple of weeks and it is time to come out and re-join the world.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Another week over

The shock has worn off, well mostly. I'm now in do something mode...do anything to make the situation better. I just have to convince hubby of it too. We have to cut waaay back and I think I am willing to make some drastic changes. Just yesterday I wasn't willing to cancel the cell phones, now I am...it can save us a lot and we can always get them back when we are financially able. One change at a time, we can do this.

As for the weight war, I was terrified to weigh in and was given the OK from some friends to skip wieghing in for a week, but well, I just couldn't. It is part of my accountability...I need to know where I am, no matter what is happening in my life. So I weighed in, not too bad...I'm up a half a pound, (could have been so much worse if I had given up tracking my food all together through SparkPeople.com), I'm so glad I didn't lose touch with SparkPeople.com, I just know that that is what lessened the impact on my rough week.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Having a rough week

My week has gone downhill since hubby was laid off. With him home I'm all out of my routine and having a hard time getting anything done. It doesn't help that I have allergies or a nasty cold to deal with too...I don't know which it is because so far neither kind of meds are working.

I'm still tracking my food in SparkPeople, but I now officially know what I go to in cases of heavy stress...fatty stuff. My fat ratio has been way off, I'm trying but somewhat failing right now. I think I'm still trying to adjust to everything. Life as we knew it is gone, and not for the better right now. I believe my counselor is right, I'm grieving for what we lost...our security, our sense of normalcy, our income, etc.

I don't know how to get through this. I'm trying to focus on working a plan for our bills, but food-wise???... I'm finding it so much harder to deal with.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Acne

Yep, you read right. I would like to introduce you to my 2 newest pimples...the biggest one is called No Income, and the very slightly smaller one is called No Insurance. When did this acne show up? With-in minutes of being told my husband was laid off today (and I subsequently started to melt down). I have stress acne all the time, but it has never shown up quite so fast before.

If any of you have great ideas on how to cut way back, or how to save money on everyday stuff...please let me know. We have a lot of debt to deal with...hey do you think our credit card companies would take pity on us and reduce our APR, even a little?

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Davids and more...

The Davids are the only reason I watched Idol...and that was the only season I have ever watched. No one else has captured my attention like they did, while I was flipping channels to see what is on.

Love Song David



Rock-n-Roll David



His "softer side"...not bad, but I like him better doing his Rock-n-Roll.



I found this one too...I have never heard it before but I like it-it speaks to me.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Weigh-in day once again

The results are in and after gaining 3 pounds last week, I'm down 4 this week. I'm thrilled I took off the 3 I gained plus 1. It is still hard to manage to make good choices with what I eat and making myself exercise. I don't know what I would do without SparkPeople.com. Their tools are so helpful and easy to use. They have fabulous articles and tons of good information to help you find what will work for you. They even have a recipe site, that I am using quite often. If you don't know where to start, go to SparkPeople.com, they have nearly everything you would ever need to get moving toward a healthier life.

Friday, January 16, 2009

Time for a change...

As you can see I felt it was time to mix things up a bit. I love playing with my blog background but I haven't had time to design anything myself, so thanks to The Cutest Blog on the Block I found this one and am very happy with it. Enjoy!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Rest time...?

I don't know what my little dd is thinking, but I would love to know. She will play for a little bit, then crawl into the dog's corner and lay down on his bed with him, then go play for a bit, then back to lay down...it cracks me up. It also suprises me because just last night she was nipped when she was headed for his food. This is the only time he has done this (scared the shit out of me, happened really fast) and she goes after his food all the time, she loves to eat it....it makes me shudder to even think about it, so gross. Yes I'm keeping an eagle eye on her and him today. She hasn't tried to get his food today, maybe she learned from the nip....interesting, very interesting. Well here is the picts, I thought they were too cute so I had to share.


Monday, January 12, 2009

Healthy Living

One week ago I decided to take my life back. Now from past experiences I know that I don't do well with diets. Been there, done that too many times. This time I have decided to change my eating by being aware of everything that enters my mouth. Sparkpeople.com has a fabulous nutrition tracker to help me monitor just how much I'm eating. They can even help you set up an eating plan...all for free.

For me, I choose to eat anything I want, I just have to be accountable for it and know what it does to me. I'm finding this thought process is helping me to make better choices over all. I look at something and its calories and fat and such and make a decision based on if I think it is worth it or not. I'm not depriving myself of anything if I truly want it, but I am having much smaller portion sizes and filling my days with many more veggies and fruit and such. I have learned that I was probably eating atleast 4000-5000 calories and way too much fat before (gotta love depression and all that comes with it). Now I'm eating between 1750-2300 calories and I'm balancing my carbs, fat and protein better.

Just 10 months ago at my baby's blessing, I was down to 282...my lowest in a long time. Then post partum depression struck and my regular depression joined in to stay. (I miss that hormone high *sigh*) Last Monday I weighed in at 314 which is heavier than before I got pregnant. Today my good choices this past week have paid off...I weighed in at 308. I know I have a very long way to go, and I still need to work on motivation for exercising, but I'm feeling I have made the right choice for me.

My Long Term goals are:
1) become my friend's running partner by the end of this year
2) Be my best self: strong and healthy and active with my family

My Short Term goals are:
1) Make good eating choices
2) Work up to 30 minutes of exercise a day, 5 days a week
3) Get 7 to 8 hours of sleep a night
4) Drink 5 to 8 20 ounce bottles of water a day

I will share my journey in hopes that I can motivate someone else and some of you can motivate me as well.

Friday, January 9, 2009

My new color...a few days late.



By nature, I'm a bit of a punk at heart. As a trained cosmetologist, I love to get crazy with my hair, it is such an instant gratification thing. This is the only time my hubby has said anything about it being extreme.


I'm thinking he isn't that thrilled with it, but he knows I will change it again in another few months anyway.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

DD turns 14 today!






About 8 months ago I was invited to a vinyl saying party. I was going to try not to buy anything but then I saw the saying above and it got me thinking about my teenage daughter. Every teen seems to have confidence issues of some sort and girls especially need positive reinforcement. She has always been a princess around here, and always will be. So I got the saying made, I re-designed the one in their catalog for more my taste, and then later found the crown through another company. The saying is on the inside of her door so she will see it everyday before she leaves her room and when she wakes up. The crown is above her mirror. I just applied them to her wall and door and love it, I hope she does too. Most of all I hope it reminds her of how awesome and wonderful she really is.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

A Baby Year in Review







1 yr old...*sigh*... Where has this year gone?

Yep she is one...and it blows my mind. Where has this past year gone? I've enjoyed as much of it as I could, but it still passed way too fast. She has grown up and changed so much. Don't get me wrong, I'm loving that she is older and more fun to play with, she is much more entertaining now then one year ago. It's just that I know she is the last, the last chance to enjoy all the firsts of childhood. I'm a little sad for time gone, yet thrilled to see what she will bring next into our lives.