I find it really hard to find time to do the things I want to do. This blog is a classic example. I miss my friends, I miss creating for myself or those I love, I miss my 3year old and all her milestones....I feel like I'm missing out on too much. I thought I had come to terms with having to work. But I'm finding it comes back in waves for me to deal with over and over again. My mind is always in work mode these days and I'm so exhausted from it.
I decided I need to go back to school, I'm technically not qualified for anything but retail, and I'm not as happy as I should be in a job. Atleast being happy in a job seems like a reasonable goal. I know my husband loved his job before the economy killed it. I really miss those days. We were still broke, but in a more secure way, knowing what we could handle or change. Working for me was more of an option to give us the extra to enjoy life, and I always worked at something. But it was my choice of when and where and who.
I am grateful I have a job, don't get me wrong...some income is better than none. I'm just worn out. I'm not used to the stress of being the sole provider and bill payer. I give my all to my work to be the best employee possible, to give the customers the best possible experience.
I'm tired.
Sunday, May 15, 2011
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