Change......as if you can't tell.

I was in the mood for a change, I didn't know what kind, but thought I would kill a few minutes on my 'puter and came across a site through someone else's blog. I should have been eating lunch before LP (little princess) woke up, but nothing in this house sounds even sort of good.

Anyway, I went to Pyzam and started looking around. Can I just say ...WOW... they have tons to choose from. I did discover that I couldn't just cut and paste the whole code like they said (kept getting an error code), but I did figure out how to make it all work. I'm probably going to mix things up on my blog way more often now.

When I had money and wanted a change I would go get my hair or nails done, this is so much cheaper! Now I just have to fix a few more things to my liking and I will be happy with my blog once more. Now if only I could find a cheap way to be happy with my hair again........

3 Months Old

I managed to remember, barely, to take little princess' 3 month pictures.

I love the detail on the jeans she is wearing.

We forced her to wear her 0 to 3 month size clothes so long that she couldn't stretch her legs out all the way. We have had to resign to the fact that she is now wearing up to 6 month old sizes (she can still wear a couple 3 month things, not many). I had forgotten how different (bigger/smaller) the same size can be in a different brand...stupid.

Teenagers, Spring Break, and 17 years

I just don't know what to do with my teenagers sometimes. My oldest son lives with my in-laws and is starting to give them the same exact crap that he was giving us. He didn't want to do his chores so he ran away ..... he really has it in his head that this is the answer to everything. After a few hours, with myself and others trying to get him to think about what he was doing, my sis-in-law got him to say where he was so she could pick him up. Two days later we brought him home for Spring Break and a big part of me wishes we hadn't. His attitude made our house a horrible place to be. Just once I want to have him here and actually enjoy the time with him. We had a couple of hours that were nice, but it was overshadowed by the hell he raised. I can't handle having to fight him to do anything/everything ..... it is so overwhelming, I did a lot of emotional eating last week. I love my son, truly I do, I just can't stand to be around his attitude.

Spring Break was rough and I have never been so glad to have the kids back in school. I managed to take my kids to lunch and a movie and my hubby took them miniature golfing one night while I was at a crop. Other than that (and even some during it) it was all fighting and yelling, no matter how hard I tried ..... so much stress.

I wish I could just totally chill today but alas I have a dentist appointment this afternoon that promises to leave me miserable. I have been putting off these cavities for over 7 months because I was pregnant and miserable enough. Thankfully I have a friend who is going to come help me with little princess and make sure I get there and back OK.

As for 17 years ..... my hubby and I celebrated our 17th Anniversary yesterday. I would have loved to have my hubby alone in a hotel with some nice food and fun for many, many hours but once again it was not to be. One of these years I will make it happen but for now I'm happy to report it was still a decent day. I have still been sick (nasty sinus crap) but with meds I'm hanging in there. We had dinner last night with friends (yummy black fin tuna, orange salad, Caesar salad, deviled eggs, potatoes) and we brought dessert (congo bars, chocolate chip bars, and heavenly oreo truffles). Our friends are very good to us and it made our day a bit more special. Hubby got me a knife sharpener for my new knives (yes, I'm happy with this), now I just need to learn how to use it correctly.

Well little princess is calling so I best go. I will try to get caught up on all your blogs asap.

*@##!**!@#!!

As if my toes weren't hideous enough! At 4:20am this morning, my vacuum thought it would be a good idea to suprise me, and now I'm pretty darn sure I have broken my dang toe! Calgon....take me away!

Big Princess has gone PUNK!

BEFORE

AFTER




I still can't believe she wanted to chop it all off...it took her so long to grow it out! She insisted, so I cut it tonight and showed her one way to style it. She has never been so daring, it is kind of fun to witness, but best of all ..... I think she actually likes it! We are going to color it sometime this week too, I'll have to post another picture after that.

Perfection

My dd was blessed yesterday and my SIL captured this perfect picture of her...so sweet, so innocent...it makes me fall in love with her all over again.

Here is one of all of us. I was really thankful that my in-laws were able to come over and bring my son with them. I like this photo of us, except for the backdrop, but it was the best we could do. At this time of the year, there just isn't much outside that is pretty.


Here is a couple more that were just so cute, I couldn't help myself.

For any Crock pot fans

http://crockpot365.blogspot.com/

Check out this site...she has tons of recipes for your crock pot. I always want to use my crock pot, but never know what to do in it. She has some great ideas for everyday type stuff and even out of the ordinary things. Most are main dishes, but there are even breakfast things and desserts. I'm determined to try some of these.

Frazzled Catch Up

Valentine's Day was pretty good. I surprised my hubby by leaving him a card and treat on his desk at work, while he was in a meeting. He was so inspired that he left work early that day and went to Costco to buy me a dozen roses and a GARBAGE DISPOSAL. Yes you read that right. Isn't my hubby just the most romantic hubby ever? I admit, I have wanted one and we had discussed it coming out of our tax return, but as a gift for Valentine's day? LOL I do prefer practical gifts, but this was a little too much for me. I was hoping for the computer program I wanted, or a new CD writer for my 'puter. Frankly I was thrilled to get to buy a new vacuum, so even no gift would have been good. OK, I will stop raving, at least he thought of me and I know he truly loves me and will always be there for me. My husband truly is the best one for me.
(PS It wouldn't be so bad, but it still isn't installed! If it is going to take up space in my small house then I at least want to be able to use it! LOL)

He will probably kill me for posting this picture, but for me this shows who he really is...he is my big strong hero...he has a great sense of humor and is able to help me keep things in perspective. I love him more than I could ever express...and on the rare occasion you can get him to have a real smile in a picture, it is like glimpsing a piece of heaven. Cheesy I know, but for me it really is that way.

The only other thing I have been up to is dealing with day to day life. Sleep is a rare thing for me still, every time I think it is getting better, my dd decides to sleep less. On top of that, I have 30+ people coming this weekend for her blessing and we have to figure out how to feed all of them at my house after church. Thankfully they are all staying in hotels, my house is too small for that many guests, though I have offered to bunk us up more if someone wanted to stay here. I do have a sleeper sofa, queen air mattress and some floor space that can be used in a pinch.

The issue is that we replaced a bunch of our carpet and I still haven't gotten things back how they need to be/want them to be. I have boxes everywhere and even though I'm working on it, the unpacking, cleaning and organizing are going very slow. There just aren't enough hours in a day for me to do it all. Somehow, I know I will get it done good enough by Saturday...'cause I have to...I just can't guarantee I will still be sane. LOL

Back to the grind, have a great week everyone!

I'm Famous! Sort of...lol

I just got an email from a good friend of mine (she is also my sushi buddy) that had this link in it...she wrote about a stamping technique I taught her years ago. I admit, it made me cry a little.

Kim has become such a famous person in her own right. Her stamping has been published for a few years now in many different magazines. I have been so proud of her.

My life has truly been richer since she has been in it. Thank you Kim!

Happy Valentine's Day!

My baby has given me the best gift of all. She went 7 hours between feedings last night (10pm to 5am) and is still asleep right now. I actually feel rested, I'm dressed (with my hair curled) and eating breakfast with no interuptions so far.

I know this won't last long so I just wanted to get on and wish everyone a day filled with love and happiness. I'm thrilled mine is off to a great start and hope it only gets better.

My Valentine Fleet

I'm a sucker for punishment.

I saw these online and fondly remembered making them when I was a child and decided to do them for my youngest son's class (all my other kids are too old or too young) for valentines day. Yes, I know they aren't the traditional colors of the holiday, but that doesn't bother me...unlike not being able to find the right kind of rubber bands.

You see, they are suppossed to use only one piece of gum for the wings, not an entire pack. However due to the fact that these were the only rubber bands I could find, I didn't have much choice. One and even 2 pieces of gum bent wierd 'cause the band is too strong.

So, now I have to go back to the store and buy a whole bunch of gum...sigh...the things we do for our kids (ok sort of for me, dang happy memory! LOL).

My baby is ONE MONTH OLD!

Isn't she cute? She is a booger (showing a stubborn streak already) but I still like her most of the time. LOL I forgot to take her 1 month pict on the fourth, but I wasn't too too late...this one was taken on the fifth. Unfortunately my camera or SD card went nuts and a good 10 picts were lost, so this is about all I have from our photo shoot. Sometimes I really hate technology.

No more secrets...

I have a dear friend who recently blew the lid off her food secret. And this is what I wrote in response:

...and we love you. I'm bawling because your secret hits close to home. I know too many "fat chicks" with eating issues/disorders and most of it ties in with other things (alcoholism, abuse, food issues our parents helped to create)...for me, I have an addictive personality that swings to extremes (complicated by some of those other issues). I can't seem to find the middle ground on anything. We can do this together...all of us, if we just keep talking about it and helping each other through it.

Love you W and thank you for putting it out there; you may help someone else realize something about them selves before it is too late.

You see I have a bit of a food secret too. I love food, but yet hate it too. I am a sugar and fatty food addict and when I get stressed out/depressed, I do one of these things…eat way too much of it (in public or in secret), eat too much then puke from the guilt(I don't force it, it always just happens) or not eat at all. I don't fit neatly into one classification of eating disorders…I’m a nasty combination of them all, depending on my mental state and stress load.

I’m embarrassed, but I think these are some of the issues we as woman need to talk about to each other and help each other through. We have to find ways to help ourselves, our children and their children to NOT be this way, especially our daughters. I know many of us struggle with food and body image stuff and I’m standing up to say…

Hi, I am jenalih. I am an addict. I have an eating disorder and I want to deal with it responsibly. I want to have a better, healthier life and I can find ways to overcome my eating issues, I know I can. I just have to.

They grow up so fast!

Ok, not really, but I have noticed she has started to change a little.

She just looks older, sort of...different in a way...

but still way adorable!

We are both doing ok so far, though I have had some really difficult moments with her...I had forgotten just how hard it is to have a new baby. Hard for my body and mind. I know we will get through, I just can't help longing for feeling good again...and having a "normal" life/schedule...where everyone gets the sleep they need. I miss sleep.

Bundle of Joy

This is my beautiful new little bundle.

We think she is a doll, but we are a bit biased.

This is all five of mine...

I still can't believe I'm starting all over again! LOL

Well this about all I can do for today...the doll calls!

Just a quick update

I will have more time another day to post more, but just to let everyone know, I had my beautiful baby girl. I will get pictures up hopefully by the end of the week. It has been a rough couple of weeks, but we are managing.

Things are starting to get crazy around here and I didn't want to forget, so here is my wish for all of you. I hope your holidays are filled with love, happiness and sweet memories!

Isn't this incredible?

Whether this is real or photoshop altered, I think it is one of the most beautiful things I have ever seen. It is like a glorious half snowflake. I just had to share this here for any of you that haven't seen it yet.

Need dd help

I saw the Dr today and things are OK, but I still must rest, rest, rest. He said at least 3 or 4 times that he wants me to make it to my scheduled c-section in January. I'm beginning to think I may not make it no matter how good I am, I am having way too many contractions, way too often, and some are way too painful...and I am being as good as I can be (without going insane).

My dd is getting resentful of my resting (I have had her helping more with easy dinners and doing only slightly more in other areas than she normally would...barely more). But how do I get through this if my kids can't help pick up some slack? My boys and hubby are helping more too, but my dd thinks I'm only picking on her...she was pissed tonight over it. I asked her if she would like to be the mom for a day to see that that job is hard too. She said, "Sure, I would love to rest all day!"(very snottily) I told her if she was mom for a day it would be doing everything I used to be able to do and that she has to "earn" this kind of resting with 8 months of illness and so much more. I just don't know how to get through to her. I need her help so much and I thank her for it all the time...just what else can I do? It is really stressing me out that she has come to think this way. I have tried really hard to not give her too much because she already has so much going on. Any ideas?

My oldest comes home tomorrow for the holidays. I really hope he will be willing to step in and help out a bit too. We have so much going on right now and I just want this "family team" to buck up and help each other get through it. I'm so grateful that I have had some friends who have been able to help out...it has been a true blessing to be able to get so much done so far. I don't know how I could ever thank them enough.

Well, this is all my body can handle so I best sign off and get back to resting....oh how I miss my dish network!

Will I Ever Learn?

Ok, so I thought the few things I had planned for today would be fine. My body decided it was too much and I'm embarrassed to admit that I actually had to call a friend to bail me out. I was stuck in the shoe department of Wally's, I was so light headed I was afraid to move. I had already started to lose my sight and balance and decided to sit to wait it out. After 20 minutes, I was still not good, so I called a friend (thank you H) to come rescue me. She got me home (had a few contractions on the way) and I went straight to bed. The contractions finally ended after about 40 minutes and then I chilled out with my kids serving me my dinner and getting them to bed from the recliner. My body must have thought I was still doing too much, I have had a few more contractions again.

Obviously, I am stupid and think I know more about my body than my Dr., well no more, I'm putting myself on (slightly modified) bed rest as of now. I'm only going to allow myself to watch TV, read, and have a small amount of computer time each day. Today really scared me...I guess that is what it takes to get through my thick skull.

Wish me luck with not going insane, I'm going to need it.

Doctor's Orders

OK, I'm not happy. I really have been trying to be good, it has been hard but I really am doing my best. I have been getting lots of rest (it helps that I haven't felt well and have wanted to sleep) but life still goes on too. We have commitments. My kids are busy with all kinds of things (choir concerts, church stuff, basketball, etc.) and hubby and I have had to head in opposite directions to help them fulfill their obligations. Hubby has been great, taking on as much as he can, he could only do more if he had a clone. I've been really uncomfortable (this baby is getting big, can't help that) and sleep hasn't exactly been here for me, but not much going on with contractions.

Yet, what did the doc say?

He thinks I'm still doing too much and he is concerned about me making it to my c-section on Jan. 4th (I have only had a couple of contractions this whole week, nothing like how it was when I was still working). He has kibosh-ed shopping, any kind...but...but...I love to shop this time of year! I can not NOT go shopping. I'm willing to embarrass myself by driving a motor cart around the store if need be, but I'm sorry, I can not give up this fun kind of shopping. He also said no activities, no chores...I'm not bed bound, but I'm supposed to be house bound. I don't think I can do this. I have been going a little crazy as it is and now he is trying to take everything else away from me. I have paper piles and files to go through, living room shelves to clean off, misc. mending, some scrapping I was planning and I LIKE to fold laundry.

Most of the madness (running around here, there and everywhere) is over, this next week is looking pretty calm. Is it horrible for me to just do a little fun Christmas shopping (in a motored cart so I'm not over working myself) and try even harder to not do too much out of and around my house? I am the one that ultimately knows what my body is doing, right?

OK, so I'm feeling a little guilty for not wanting to miss out on things...but who does? I just want to enjoy the season...is that too much to ask?

Sick...again!

Man the flu this year is killing me. I was super sick all week last week and then yesterday. I got up yesterday feeling just fine and craving spaghetti, so I had some for breakfast. I was sick the rest of the day...I suppose there could be something wrong with my spaghetti, but I doubt it because it hasn't made anyone else ill. Frankly I don't even know if it was the flu...I'm positive my lack of sleep isn't helping things. Today my son is the one puking, so he is home. He is 11 so I'm sure he will be OK while I go see my doctor and run some errands today. I'm just glad that I am feeling much better.

JUST 21 DAYS TO GO! Yep, 3 weeks from today I will be holding my new little one in my arms. I know it isn't far from now, but man, it still feels ages away. If I were sleeping better at night, or even able to get comfy for a nap each day, than it probably wouldn't seem so bad. BUT the thought of not sleeping for the next 3 weeks, makes it seem like a lifetime. Make sense?

Well, I have to get ready to go. I get the pleasure of seeing the doc, waiting in line at the PO to mail a pkg, dealing with crowds to get some minor shopping done, and traffic, traffic, traffic. Thank goodness it isn't snowing, that would be too much stress on me today. Have a great day everyone!

Resting, yet Nesting

I'm trying hard to be good, honest...but it is hard to rest when you aren't comfy in any one position for more than a half hour or so. To top it off, I'm in nesting mode bad and have to force myself to not do too much. I'm trying to be good and accomplish just a couple of things a day (yesterday was dishes, putting up tree, and making a nice dinner) and trying to read and such the rest of the time. Time seems to be moving slower than ever...when I was still working, time flew a bit faster, I kind of miss that part (do not miss getting up in the freezing cold). Man will this pregnancy ever end? Obviously yes, it just feels like it won't. Ok, pity session over.

I need to finish some cleaning and organizing (this desk is such a mess) so I can get some sewing and scrapbooking done. Hmmm, maybe I will just skip to the sewing and scrapbooking.

"Funny" of the day

New Wall

When I came home from the TSO concert, I walked into my house and was floored by a new wall, yep a new wall. We have lived here for 6 and a half years with a very annoying railing. We live in a 70's split level and the railing was one "wall" of our livingroom and the hand rail for the stairs going up to the living room. It woobled a lot and was useless for our baby gate when we first moved in (our youngest was only 8 months old and hadn't been around stairs before, we had to teach him quickly). Well now that we are faced with another baby on the way and we had already been talking about it anyway, I wanted to get going on getting the wall up so we have two sturdy walls to put a gate between.

A good friend of ours gave it to us for Christmas. He bought the stuff, built it in another friend's garage and had my hubby help him install it while I was gone. I know it is corny, but I just about cried. If I hadn't been so flabergasted, I think I would have bawled. I am thankful for this little bit of thoughtfulness. I can't wait to get it mudded up and textured so we can paint, install new flooring, re-do the kitchen, re-do the bath.....

Ok, so I can dream a little can't I? LOL The painting and flooring is in our plans hopefully before spring, but the rest I will have to continue to dream about for a few years. I can live with that...for now.

Trans-Siberian Orchestra

If you have never seen them perform, you need to...they are incredible! You can check them out here. I look forward to this concert every year, it is what gets me into the Christmas spirit. Thier music is a cross between rock and roll and classical, rather classical jazzed up with a bit of rock and roll. Last night was my fourth year seeing them perform here in Boise (Ok, so technically in Nampa at the Idaho Center). Their music is a feast for the soul, and their light show, complete with pyrotechnics, is a feast for the eyes. The only thing that kind of bummed me out about it was that my favorite singer from past years, was no longer there and for the life of me I can not remember his name.

I'm going to spend some time trying to find him on the 'net today...he is so talented and his voice makes me melt. I found him!

His name is Guy LeMonnier and his voice is so incredible. You can go hear him at his site, he has some samplings of his work on there, they aren't the best quality, but you will get the idea. The new guy they had was OK, but I prefer Guy's voice...it is just richer (and it gives me wonderful shivers all over). LOL

It's over, yet just begun

I had a nice long weekend full of rest, so I figured I was nicely refreshed to head back to work today. From the moment I got up, I just felt off. After being at work for about an hour, I started having contractions. I knew right then that this would be my last day, my last shift. My Dr warned me that if they changed in frequency, pain level or anything (I have been having contractions on and off for 3 weeks or so, usually only after a long day)...that I would have to start my leave of absence early.

I got into my Jr High and said goodbye to my wonderful group of kids. I could have dropped a pin and heard it, they were the most silent they have ever been. I got a few hugs and "best wishes", "hope you feel better", "will miss you", and even several "thank you" comments. I was bawling, I really am going to miss these kids. We had our days, but for the most part, they were the very best kids at that school. Humor and kindness can go a long way when dealing with teens, at least that is what I have learned from them. (My friend at work that also drives out of that school, called me and said that one of my kids brought her something to give me, I can't wait to see it.)

I decided to finish my morning route and then went straight to the boss and told him what was up. My friends at work helped me get home safely and then I rested a good chunk of the day. I'm glad I did, those dang contractions (even though they weren't regular) lasted several hours.

My awesome "evil" friend surprised me with seasons 2-5 of the Gilmore Girls and I'm looking forward to watching them. I am so thankful for good friends. Many have been through this type of thing and have given lots of good advice on how to stay sane. I figure as long as I take it easy, my Dr won't have reason to put me on mandatory bed rest. I figured I better quit before it gets to that point, I've been pushing myself too hard for too long anyway. Can you tell I like to be in control? LOL Gotta take it where I can get it!

It will all work out, somehow. I know I have enough to pay the bills next month, it is just the pesky things like food, gas and Christmas that will require a miracle. In my heart I know...Miracles happen every day.

Evil Friend

I have a really great friend. She brought me a bunch of videos and DVDs to help me pass the time while resting. I am now officially hooked on the Gilmore Girls series! I just spent the last day or so watching the complete first season. Unfortunately, my friend's neighbor has seasons two and three so now I'm going to have to go crazy waiting to find out what happens next! I told you she was evil!

Seriously, I would have gone insane without all these things to watch. I hate that we had to give up our dish network, but we had to prioritize our expenses (still are working on it too) so that we can afford for me to be out of work for a while. Gotta love having a budget.

Well I'm trying to get just a few things done around here...easy things. I just had to feel at least a little productive. I'm going to go see if there is something else easy I can do, wish me luck!

Thankful

I forgot I was going to post what I'm thankful for, not just because it was Thanksgiving day, but because I need to remind myself of all the great things I do have in my life. I need to do this atleast once a week, it really does help put everything into perspective.

I am thankful for:

My family who loves me despite my flaws.

My friends who are such a support to me when my family and life are driving me nuts.

Our jobs and our good health.

The beautiful sunrises I get to enjoy every morning while driving Jr High kids to school. (Sometimes even they notice them.) A beautiful sunrise can make getting up at 4:20am worth it.

I truly am thankful for these things. It wasn't all that long ago that things were much worse for us and I need to remember that we have come a long way, even when it doesn't feel like it. There is so much more I could write, but I have to save something for next time right? LOL

Have a great Black Friday everyone, and I hope you find the deals you are looking for!

Time to myself

Who knew it could be so hard to have all the time I want to just relax? My Dr "grounded" me yesterday. I can't travel outside of this area anymore, so my hubby and kids went without me to Idaho Falls for Thanksgiving and the blessing of a new little cousin. My sister in law finally got to bring home the little boy she adopted from Guatemala. He is such a doll.

I don't miss the hectic household full of hubby's family, it is always too much of a sensory overload for me. Between the TV remote issue (my kids lost it the other day) and a house full of things that need to be done, I'm finding it harder than I thought to relax. Maybe sorting through baby clothes would cheer me up. I have several boxes to go through, that wouldn't be too strenuous, would it?

I'll figure things out, I so plan to try and enjoy the peace a bit...but I think I may have to go out and rent some movies or something too. I can only sleep so much and I'm too used to always being busy. Wish me luck!

I just posted this and then realized that I didn't explain why I'm "grounded". My busy stressful life is giving me contractions and my hips are not dealing with this pregnancy too well. My Dr is afraid I'm headed into an earlier than he would like delivery. I don't want a delivery this soon either. I'm trying really hard to be good, really I am, but I need to work as long as possible. My checking account is looking sad and empty for December, but I know we will make it through.

Enough of that...have a Happy Thanksgiving everyone!

This is the first digi LO I ever did. It is clean and simple and I love how it looks.

I finally did it!

I have been debating over and over as to whether I should leave my old blog behind and begin anew. Heck everyone I know is already here, so I figure I might as well. I miss blogging (I haven't wanted to post anything new on the old one until I decided) so I'm glad to be set up here and hope to have lots of fun with it. I can't wait to learn how to personalize this space, to really make it my own. Any tips would be greatly appreciated.